Holding Space for your Loved Ones

I have learned many things in this life, one of which is the importance of holding space for people. I have seen the benefits of holding space as I teach yoga classes and this has given me a unique perspective on holding space for end of life care. That being said, it is something that we can all do for our loved ones when the time comes.

It is important to hold space for our loved ones as they transition, remembering that they are still people and so much more that the disease they face or the death process.

Holding space for our loved ones means being a supportive, non-judgmental presence for them. Allow them to be fully seen, heard, and understood in a safe environment without trying to fix their situation or offering unsolicited advice.

We can become active and empathetic listening, validating our loved one's feelings, experiences and fears. And in doing so, we can be a compassionate presence. 

Have the conversation with your loved ones, talk to them and hold space in their lives so that we can continue to hold space for them as they approach death.

How can we hold space for our loved ones during end of life care?

• Trust your intuition, this is your loved one. You know better than anyone, when a loved one needs a touch, needs space, or just need to be heard. You will recognize those familiar expressions that show sadness, fear or pain. Lean into them, and comfort, listen and intervene on their behalf when needed.

  
  

• Honour the Journey. Remembering that your loved one is still living until the very end, this is their journey and it is important to allow them to feel empowered and allowing their wishes to be followed. Holding space is about respecting your loved ones decisions, and recognizing that those decisions may be different from what we would want for them. We withdraw our ego and honour their journey.

  
  

• Allow complex emotions, fear and trauma to come up for both you and your loved one. Remember that this is your journey too. Allow for feelings of vulnerability and fear of loss. As this experience will be emotionally demanding, allow yourself to practice self-compassion to cope with the difficult emotions. 

  
  

Let's begin to have the conversations, the ones that make dying part of living, not a process that is to be hidden away in nursing homes and hospitals. Let's begin to have the conversations about how we want to live our death. Let's begin to normalize these discussions, because none of us are getting out of here alive.

For more information on non-medical end of life care for your loved ones, please contact me directly

Kathy Brown

Yoga Teacher and Death Doula